Road Trip ’05 – Food Reviews – Day 17

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Lunch: Ted’s Montana Grill, Atlanta, GA

Review – “Is this heaven?” No, it’s just Ted’s onion rings.

Acting on a tip from our awesome cousin Amy Fuller, we ventured into downtown Atlanta to try Ted’s. Owned by Ted Turner (because really, what in Atlanta isn’t?), the restaurant is themed western style, but classy western as opposed to “throw your peanut shells on the floor” western. A large buffalo head adorns the wall over the bar, and oil paintings depicting western scenes are scattered throughout. Another nice touch was a quote in each booth pertaining to some sort of western life lesson.

Everything on the menu is marketed as fresh, fresh, fresh… freshly ground meat for the burgers (both regular cow beef as well as buffalo meat), freshly cut fries, and onion rings battered when you order them. Even the sodas are served in glass bottles (2 per person) with a glass of crushed ice. And since this is Atlanta, even those bottles are coming from just down the street! The menu consists mainly of steaks, burgers, chicken sandwiches, and some neat items unique from other restaurants like beer can chicken. For the burgers, you basically decide which type of meat you want (beef or buffalo) and then choose from a list of ways it can be prepared. The list has at least 20 different choices on it, with toppings ranging from standard cheese all the way to guacamole and even a fried egg (on the “kitchen sink” burger).

Patrick chose a buffalo burger with cheddar cheese and grilled onions. I went a little out on a limb with the buffalo burger New Mexico style, which was topped with Monterey jack cheese, Anaheim green chili peppers, and guacamole. I was going to opt for the onion rings instead of fries, and then our waiter informed us we could ask for half and half for a slight upcharge. Best decision I made all day, but we’ll get to that momentarily. Prior to lunch, we were served a bowl of “pickles,” which tasted just on the pickled side of a cucumber. Patrick was not a fan, but they reminded me of the ones from the now defunct Big Kitchen Restaurant in Sarasota, so I ate them in tribute to the Big Kitchen.

The burgers arrived very quickly, topped by paper toothpick American flags. Cute. The burgers were obviously hand formed (in keeping with what the menu said) and nicely sized. They were also so juicy mine had soaked through the bun clear to the plate. Yum! The “salt and pepper” onion rings and fries were piled high on the other side of the plate. The fries were clearly hand cut, as some of them still had the dark skins on them. They looked, smelled, and tasted like fries you would get at a fair, which in this case, is a very good thing.

I need a whole paragraph for the onion rings. They were the perfect deep golden brown color and thin… clearly, they were not trying to fool us by jamming 7 rings of onion in one batter dip. Oh no, these were the real deal. The outsides were also indicative of the many seasonings we would find in our many tastes.. the perfect balance of salt, pepper, and possibly a few other spices. One taste and we were gone – these are possibly the world’s best onion rings. The outsides were super crunchy with piping hot rings of onion inside. I nearly forgot to eat my burger for my focus on the onion rings was so intense. Ketchup? Okay, but a little overpowering. Creamy horseradish dip? Perfection atop perfection. The best part about these rings is that they did not need condiments. They were pretty much perfect on their own. I could go on, but it might get embarrassing.

I would be remiss to not mention the fabulous bison burger. The toppings on mine totally worked to enhance the flavor of the meat, which was very much like regular beef but is apparently quite a bit healthier (and if this burger was any indication, vastly juicier, also). There was so much food I could not finish it all (oh, except the onion rings, which I made sure to have room for). I did stop eating so that I could have one of the freshly baked cookies the menu spoke so highly of, but alas, the only flavor left when we were there was oatmeal raisin. Yuck. I was so excited about the Snickerdoodle, and if any of you have ever heard of Gary Gulman and his cookie obsession, you will know how exciting it was to see cookies listed as a legitimate dessert item. But it was not to be, and probably for the best, as we had already gorged ourselves pretty thoroughly.

The GPS returned 7 results for Ted’s when we searched it. I do not know where all the others are, but if you have one near you (or if your travels take you near one), do not pass go and do not collect $200 until you have stopped for a bison burger with a side of double onion rings.

Dinner: Dante’s, Atlanta, GA

Review – Another suggestion from Amy led us to Dante’s, a mainly fondue restaurant in the Buckhead section of Atlanta. From the street, this restaurant looked pretty nondescript. We met Amy, Robin, and their significant others, and headed inside. Walking up thick wooden planks past signs for ports and docks, we started to realize we were entering a place of more intrigue than the simple sign would lead you to believe.

Walking in to the restaurant, you walk down… a dock? And is that a pirate ship over there? And a saloon? And a…. brothel? Walking in to Dante’s was literally like walking onto the set of Pirates of the Caribbean (the ride or the movie). The restaurant is completely themed with authentic pieces from actual ships and villages, with even the masts of the ship being made from 200 year old fabric. Amazing. There are even real live crocodiles and turtles in the water surrounding the ship.

We were seated upstairs in a rounded out balcony that served as the “brothel.” After flaunting our wares to the patrons below, we settled in on looking at the menu. This was where things got a little disappointing, as most of us had all previously visited The Melting Pot, whose fondue process is a finely tuned science. This process was slightly less so. For starters, there was no handy “combination dinner” that combined the cheese, salad, and entree course for a party of two. Everything was a la carte, including the cheese. Also, where the Melting Pot offers several combination plates that couple several red meats with chicken and multiple seafood selections, the only combination offered here at Dante’s was the “mandarin,” which consisted of steak, chicken, pork, and breaded shrimp. Not a bad combination, but not a ton of variety. The other dinners were all beef, all chicken, all shrimp, or all pork. Three of us at the table opted for the Mandarin, while the other three stuck with the all beef.

We ordered a dinner sized portion of cheese for the table to share. It was divided up into two pots, which were brought to the table and placed over a sterno flame. Again, Melting Pot had the upper hand here in that their burners are built into the tables, making it seem slightly more legitimate as a fondue restaurant. But I digress. The cheese offering was only one choice – a combination of several different kinds of melted cheese. It was good but not exceptional. Aside from Amy, no one else was scraping the pot to ensure not a bit of cheese went to waste. It was not as thick and creamy as we have come to know with the cheeses at the Melting Pot.

The dinner meats arrived accompanied by four sauces: horseradish (good), cajun remoulade (Patrick gagged but I enjoyed it), sweet and sour (judged okay by Patrick), and teriyaki (thin, like it was just poured from the Kikkoman bottle). Again, I go back to the Melting Pot for comparison, who offers no less than 6 sauces, all of which are more authentic tasting than these. The meats were crowded onto small dessert sized plates and served with only squash and mushrooms as the vegetables. The oil is brought and placed over the sterno flame, but there were no batters provided for the meats as in other fondue restaurants. Thus, everything was straight cooked in the oil, aside from the shrimp, which arrived lightly breaded.

My biggest complaint about this restaurant, which became very problematic once the meals arrived, was that every single fondue fork was the same color. Nothing distinguished one from the other, and if you have ever eaten fondue, you know this is a critical measure in keeping everyone’s food straight. We ended up with a lot of tangled forks (the pots were also about half the size as normal) and several men overboard (pieces that fell off the forks). The meats were all very tasty, but we were glad to have opted for the mandarin platter, as the lack of breading and dull sauces got a little tedious after a while.

After dinner, we were showed the dessert menu, which consisted of many different ice cream and coffee drinks, plus cheesecake, chocolate fudge cake, and ice cream. No chocolate fondue, you may be wondering? That’s right. If you do not order the chocolate fondue two days in advance, they do not have time to churn the delicate mixture for a full 8 hours, and thus you are, shall we say, up a creek without a paddle. If you think that is bad, they also make only one order per night, and not on Friday, Saturday, or holidays. Pretty snooty chocolate fondue, if you ask me. We did end up ordering cheesecake, chocolate cake, and an ice cream drink, which were all very good, but it is very disheartening to go to a fondue restaurant and not even have the option of the glorious chocolate fondue.

The best part about the Dante’s experience was the company. It was great to hang out with family, and the fondue setting made for a lot of funny conversations. The meal itself was good but we spent a lot of time comparing the actual food experience to The Melting Pot. The best reason to visit Dante’s yourself, in my opinion, is to see the awesome interior and enjoy the ambience. A live jazz band was playing nearly the entire time, and you really are immersed in the full movie-like atmosphere. If only they could have had colored fondue forks….